Confusion

I’ve been really confused with what I’ve been wanting to do for my whole life so this last semester has been filled with experimenting to see what I’m really good at and what I’m passionate for. Embracing how God made me has been really challenging because sometimes I would like to think that I’m good at certain things I’m really not the best at. It’s also been a huge challenge being vulnerable with others and telling them what I’m going through so I can ask for their advice on what to do because not asking for help would be foolish. Everyone’s been a great help and I’m grateful for everyone who helped and prayed about me so much.

Adding on to that, I’ve been confused about how I’ve been feeling for this whole semester. I was talking to this person at the beginning of the semester, but we ended up not talking at all anymore. Then I became closer to this other person coincidentally and I cherish my friendship with them. They’re always there to help me and I’m also there for them when they need me. Recently, it’s been difficult expressing myself to that person because I’ve been keeping my distance. I didn’t want the same thing to happen to my friendship with them as with the other person I was close to at the beginning of the semester. Sometimes I wish I didn’t have to be distant to them, but I know it’s probably better this way so we can prevent certain things from happening in the future. I know I’ve become numbed to these kind of things, but for some reason, it still hurts. I miss them already and I don’t even know what to do anymore because sometimes the only answer I have is to run away.

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